BLACK SOCIAL HISTORY
York native soldiers through tragedy
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton, front center, recently retired after serving nearly 30 years in the armed forces. Along the way, she earned two degrees and raised four children and more than 100 foster children. She is pictured here with her "York family," which includes sisters, children and grandchildren. Her husband, Aaron Stockton, is standing just behind Sandra s right shoulder. (Daily Record/Sunday News -- Paul Kuehnel)
Click photo to enlarge
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton, top left, is shown in an old family photo with her... (Submitted)
In June of 1968, a woman wept on West College Avenue.
Her husband, Joseph Kearse, had been shot dead.
She was a 20-year-old widow, a mother to four small children.
One day that summer, Sandra's mother, Dorothy Smallwood, told her to walk to a family friend's house. All her life, Sandra had known from the Emmanuel Church of God in Christ as Mother Walker.
"What are they cooking up?" Sandra recalls thinking.
Since she was young, Sandra Smallwood-Stockton's mother told her that to make it as a young black woman, she'd have to work harder.
Whatever you do in life, you have to be a lady, plus. You have to stretch as far as you can.
Now, Sandra's mother wanted her to hear advice from someone else. That night on West Princess Street, Walker told her she could get her life back on track, and that she'd meet someone else.
Sandie, when you are in a room and all the doors are locked, one of the windows are open.
Words of advice from one generation to another.
Sandra listened.
Even before her husband was killed, Sandra had been through times that would test her.
At 15 years old and a student at William Penn Senior High School, she had a secret.
She couldn't tell anyone but her mother. They would kick her out.
In 1965, unwed mothers weren't allowed in school.
Sandra refused to quit her education. She found a way. She stayed quiet. It was her first baby, so she didn't show much.
"My mother was most disappointed," Sandra said. "She was just so hurt, but we held on to my baby."
The timing worked out. Kevin was born on a Friday; she went back to school Monday.
At the time, birth control pills were relatively new. Sandra wanted them, but her mother fretted they were dangerous.
The next year, Sandra was pregnant again.
This time, there were no secrets. Her body had changed, and there was no way to hide her pregnancy.
She moved to Baltimore, where schools allowed pregnant students.
Her boyfriend, Joseph Kearse, moved to Baltimore to be with her. He worked while she attended classes.
She got her high school degree. By the time she was 19 years old, she had four children. She and Joseph wed in 1968.
They moved back to York around May of that year. In June, Joseph died.
Sandra wanted to go to college. A lot of people questioned how she'd find time as a single mother. Sometimes she would question it, too. But she'd remember her mother's advice.
Whatever you do in life, you have to be a lady, plus. You have to stretch as far as you can.
Sandra didn't want welfare.
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton retired from the U.S. Army as a lieutenant colonel. She and her husband, Aaron, are building their dream home in Maryland. But her life has not been without heartbreak. Violence claimed her first husband and one of her sons, while a fire took her mother and one of her sisters. (Daily Record/Sunday News -- Paul Kuehnel)
Her mother never took it, opting instead to work extra jobs: cleaning doctors' homes, doing hair, cooking.
And after Sandra's husband died, she decided to get to work. Her large, extended family in the city was always there to fall back on, too, but she wanted to earn her way.
She started class at York College in the early 1970s.
In between family, work and class, she found someone. She met Aaron Stockton one night when she was out with her cousin, and they dated for two years.
On Feb. 24, 1974, they wed.
Her husband was in the Air Force. They moved to Andrews Air Force Base outside Washington, D.C. They didn't have a lot of money, so her husband encouraged her to try military service.
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton receives her master s degree in health services management from George Mason University in Virginia in 1981. (Submitted)
They were raising five children, so she decided to try, and in May 1979 she enlisted in the Air Force.
Sandra made it through basic training. But to make rank, she'd need an education.
So, she went back to college. She earned a bachelor's degree from Prince George's Community College in Maryland and a master's in health services management from George Mason University in Virginia.
She went to Korea, where she worked as a nurse.
"This isn't too bad," she remembers thinking. "This is pretty cool."
She had a husband and a family, an education, and a job she loved.
She'd think back to 1968 in York. What Mother Walker had told her had come true.
In February 1992 a pot was on the stove in a house on East Prospect Street.
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton, shown as a sophomore at York High in the 1960s. At 15, she became pregnant with her first child, and had four by the time she was 20 years old. (Submitted)
Upstairs, Dorothy Smallwood, 64, and her daughter, Dorothy Mae Stewart, 40, slept. Through the night, the pot melted and started a fire, police said.
Sandra got a call in Korea. It was the York Fire Department.
Her mother and sister were dead. Smoke inhalation.
She asked to get transferred back to the states.
This time, she needed her family more than ever.
Her extended family in York helped her through losing her mother and sister, she said.
"People look at other people and think their life is all peaches and cream," said Sandra's sister, Mary Richardson. "But life isn't always like that."
A big clan, they take care of their own. Sandra still has four sisters, a son and many nieces, nephews and cousins in York. Her son, Kevin, now owns a barber shop on South Duke Street.
To get through the grief, she threw her energy into her military service. She made it to the Walter Reed Military Hospital in 2006. She loved caring for the soldiers, helping them recover.
A window had opened.
Sandra had met her husband Aaron Stockton, in York at a Joe Butler concert.
They loved music. The children also liked to sing and dance.
When the children were young, they formed a family music group, known as Kearse, and competed in talent shows, including the Washington D.C. Talent Search.
The members: Karmentrina, Kimmy, Kevin and Keenan. And mom and dad.
They performed as a group act until the children hit their teenage years.
The children grew up, had families of their own. They didn't all live near each other, but the family remained close.
Keenan Wynn Kearse Sr., the youngest in the family, lived in an apartment in Prince George's County. He was 38.
On March 7, 2007, two men knocked on the door, according to a story in The Washington Post that quoted police. He opened it, let them in. They wanted money. They shot him. He died in his apartment.
It was more than Sandra could bear.
"I just told them, when my son was murdered, I needed to lean on them," she said of her family.
This time, her York family came to her.
They filled her Maryland home. They cooked for her. They cleaned. They hugged her hard when she wept. She buried her son in York, so he'd be with family.
Sandra found herself thinking of her mother.
Those 25 words are what got her through, she said.
Whatever you do Sandie, whatever you do in life, you have to be a lady, plus. You have to stretch as far as you can.
On Dec. 31, 2008, Army Lt. Col. Sandra Smallwood-Stockton retired after nearly 30 years in the armed services. It was a moment many years in the making, shaped by advice from her mother and love from her family, she said. She had achieved a rank that was first reached by a black woman in 1964.
And, today, she's become a leader in her family. Her influence in York continues. She kept in touch with her family, keeping tabs on what they are doing in life, after she permanently settled in Maryland, where she and her husband are building their dream house.
"She's in a position where she don't have to care, she don't have to look back or be concerned," said childhood friend JoAnne Borders, a York City advocate who sits on several boards of directors. "But she is that person that is concerned, and will reach back."
Sandra and her husband have been foster parents for more than 100 children. Many stand out in her mind. She calls them by name when she tells their stories, how she tries to lead them, advise them. Some turn out all right. Others learn the hard way.
One boy's mother had died. His father was in jail. He started hanging out with a group of boys Sandra knew were no good.
She told him:
There's no good that will come from hanging out in that group. You'll be guilty by association.
He turned 18, left the house and moved to New York City.
He hung out with a bad group, got in trouble, went to jail.
He wrote from prison:
Now I understand. I will never forget that.
MILITARY CAREER
Sandra Smallwood-Stockton, 61, retired from the U.S. Army as a lieutenant colonel in December. She worked for the majority of her military career as a nurse.
Throughout her time in the military, she has served as active duty and the reserves. She started by enlisting in the U.S. Air Force. She took time off to get a college degree and enlisted in the U.S. Army as an officer. Here is a list of her awards from the military:
No comments:
Post a Comment